So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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