Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
