wrigley field is MILF paradise
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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