Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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