brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
