I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Shame - the story of my life.
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