You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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