Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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