Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
