my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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