I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
What a dumb baby whore.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
