brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
All the doctor said was why
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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