she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
