i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
