shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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