I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
