I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
