I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
