Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
