I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize