I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
