I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
