Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Operation Purity has been aborted
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
