I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
