she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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