White coat. Heels.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
