I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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