Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
only if we run a train.
done.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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