i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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