Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
