I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
