i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
