Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
