I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You've changed since you got that strap on
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
