do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
