At least make sure they are 18
Why
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
