Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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