just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
