I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
