Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
