no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
