Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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