So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
you had me at cake vodka
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The uberlube is also flammable
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
