I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Less talking, more tequila
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
