I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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