No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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