I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
