They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
