i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
