Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
