Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
