Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
