i was rollin on her like bob the builder
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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