Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
