Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
