using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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