4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
