it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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