TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
