I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
