I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
