Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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