she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
