We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
