you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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