No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
pray to the hookup gods
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
