some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
